Bear skin rug needs repair

I have a bear skin rug that need some repair. “Again? this is the fourth time this month.” The teeth, eyes, nose and claws need to be repaired or replacd “Do you mind if I use human remains, bears are scarce around here.”
Would like to trade for your repair with my professional photography. “Will you take shots of me in the bear skin... and only the bear skin?”
Serious response only please. “I’m dead serious, dead as your bear skin serious. Grrrrrrr”

Thanks